12 March

Francine has just told me the most scandalous news! Apparently, men have *something else entirely* under their knickers than those of us of the feminine persuasion! Really, I can't imagine where she got that idea, but it is *far* too *bizarre* to be untrue. She claims *it* looks something like a snake! I loathe snakes. Besides, I certainly can't imagine *Ernest* like that! I was forced to spend the entire afternoon abed.