10 July

Uncle Jack said at dinner this evening that cousin Ernest would have to choose between this world, the next world, and Australia. I suppose he will choose Australia becasue there certainly will be many opportunities for adventure there. Uncle Jack is going up to London this weekend to buy dear Ernest's outfit. How handsome he will look in a safari outfit (Ernest, not Uncle Jack)! I *do* hope Uncle Jack will get him one of those explorer helmets—I *do* so love a man in a hat.

I am very excited to get letters from Australia. I wonder if they use stamps. It is terribly *wild* in Australia.

7 July

Absolutely captivating afternoon party at the Marquess'. I wore white tulle. Indeed, we all wore white, as it was a croquet party. Rupert and Ralph both present, as was the Marquess of Carabas, whom Alfie finds charming (!), and it was quite a fine day. Luckily, my dear guardian had thoroughly instructed me in how to play croquet very badly indeed, so I was the object if simply *all* the boys' attentions. Uncle Jack suggested I might allow Rupert and Ralph to call on me on occasion. Whatever shall I do? I am almost anxious.

Charming game of charades—Ralph and I won one round. If only he weren't so *clean*!

24 June

Ernest's stalk turned toward mine and I dreampt of him. Midsummer's Day evening party at Marquess Alfie's. Turtle soup with bacon, trout almondine and a lemon tart. Very tasteful as always. And the Marquess is always impeccibly (sp?) dressed. I do hope Ernest dresses *just like* the Marquess. Lovely evening. The sole dark spot was the Marquess of Carabas, who arrived almost *entirely un*dressed (!) and created quite a scene. I doubt very much that he will be asked *anywhere* again. Arriving undressed, even at a masquerade, is simply *not* the thing.

31 May

Uncle Jack and I have been taking the most *lovely* long walks nearly every day, I *do* like walking. Oftentimes before I have walked alone in order to think about things (like what Ernest must look like or what clothes I should wear the next day) but it is quite pleasant to walk with dear Uncle Jack as well. We like to talk about the weather.

21 May

Evening party at the estate of the Marquess. I wore my aqua taffeta gown. Charming party! Roast beef with bacon and peas and also mashed potatoes. Carrot soup for starters. I didn't quite approve of the meal at first—I thought it almost vegetarian! I don't approve of vegetarians. But I did enjoy myself even though there was no dancing. Before we broke up into boys and girls, one boy asked me my name and age. I admitted to 20, but I didn't talk to him anymore because he had straight hair. I can't abide straight hair.

Marquess Alfie says I simply *must* meet his little neighbor Veruca.

4 May

A sweet, pining letter from Ernest, begging me to forgive him for his jealousies and grieving that he was unable to see me in my outfit. I am having my coronet dried and will save it to show him when we meet.

Lessons *beastly* today—went on for *hours*. Miss Prism quite intent on me entirely understanding the Pound/Mark exchange rate, and I money holds no interest for me. Indeed, I think it quite vulgar to have any understanding of money at all.

3 May

I was quite a success at the May festivities—our little country newspaper chronicled the events this morning. they say I "was effervescent in (my) May gown and garland of pink roses, as refreshing as a cool glass of champagne and sparkling with youth and charm." Oh, it is lovely to be adored! Mr. Adrian Mole, the write and publisher, has adored me for as long as I can remember. Indeed, he may have adored me forever. I sent a copy to my dear Ernest. He will certainly be obliged to speak to me now.

30 April

How shall I ever escape Miss Prism? She is positively *bombarding* me with Geology. Horrid, horrid Geology! It is enough to drive one perfectly frantic! I was obliged to ask her *why* I must be forced to learn all these horrid lessons. I *really* can't *see how* I will *ever* use Political Economy in the future if Ernest is not a mad bomber. But Miss Prism assures me that German and Geology and things like that influence a man very much.

Uncle Jack back. My May Queen dress arrived with him. I will look stunning. It is all pink with ribbons and bows. I wonder if my dear doctor will notice.

Ernest not speaking to me. Will G and G influence Dr. Barnaby very much?

26 April

My dear guardian has arranged a tea with a Miss Lucy Brown, who is visiting her aunt, Lady Percival, a rather persnickety old lady down the road. I am wearing my new yellow tea dress and serving cucumber and cress sandwiches (and maybe rose petal sandwiches) in the garden. Oh I *do* hope I will like her—she may be able to help me locate Ernest.

Uncle Jack has allowed that I should continue my Political Economy lessons. Horrid Political Economy.

16 April

Miss Prism and I took lessons and a picnic out to the top of one of the hills quite close. Weather splendid until we got to the very top of the hill. Then the rains came. Books all wet. I won't be able to study German for weeks until the new book arrives.

Uncle Jack has said I am to be May Queen this year. Whatever shall I wear?

19 March

My 18th birthday, and not yet married. This is a source of great sadness for me. I shall be obliged to speak to Ernest about setting a date *right away*. I must admit I had hoped he would have done so *for* my birthday, but the dear boy is so forgetful! He bought me the most beautiful little bangle with a true lover's knot. I have promised him always to wear it. I also received several new dresses, a small and very lady-like string of pearls, a little prayer book from Dr. Chasuble, A Young Lady's Book of Manners (1895 supplement) from Miss Prism and a *3-volume novel* from Mudie. Charming weather.

18 March

Terrible dream last night! I dreamt that Ernest took me to a masquerade. He was dressed as a Vampyre (!), and I was a Fairy Princess—with the most beautiful gossamer wings! I discovered that I could fly, quite cleverly, and then so could Ernest! So we flew over London and landed in a terribly dirty and smelly location, where Ernest cornered me entirely and pulled out from under his cape a snake, which bit me. I awoke feeling *most* weak and tingly. I fear I am in great danger. Weather still charming.

12 March

Francine has just told me the most scandalous news! Apparently, men have *something else entirely* under their knickers than those of us of the feminine persuasion! Really, I can't imagine where she got that idea, but it is *far* too *bizarre* to be untrue. She claims *it* looks something like a snake! I loathe snakes. Besides, I certainly can't imagine *Ernest* like that! I was forced to spend the entire afternoon abed.

22 February

Uncle Jack has pulled Political Economy lessons for the time being.

I wonder what position Ernest holds in the revolutionary army? I highly suspect that he is a mad bomber—then he would be obliged to wear tall boots and black gloves to protect himself from gunpowder. Oh, how I love a man in uniform!

20 February

I have been thinking more about the idea of Ernest being a revolutionary, and I have decided it is quite a proper thing for him to be after all. Revolutionaries are, I am told, quite dangerous indeed, and I do like dangerous men. I believe they are always very well dressed. One must always be impeccably (sp?) dressed for a revolution.

Miss Prism in conference with Dr. Chasuble for most of the afternoon.

No letter from Ernest! He must be *extremely* busy!

8 February

Uncle Jack's brother is called Ernest! What a perfectly divine name!
Mr. Ernest Worthing
Mrs. Ernest Worthing
Lady Cecily Worthing
Mr. and Mrs. Ernest M. Worthing
Mrs. Ernest Worthing
Mrs. Ernest M. Worthing
Ernest Worthing and the former Miss Cecily Cardew, his lovely wife.
Mrs. Ernest Worthing, nee Cecily Cardew, was spotted at the ball, wearing a splendid gown of pink and white silk toile, accompanied with an ermine stole.
Mrs. Ernest Worthing, Esq.
Mr. and Mrs. Ernest M. Worthing
I do hope he doesn't go by the name of Ernie!

1 February

The weather has been charming of late. I have been taking extended walks, mostly to avoid dreary lessons, though I am sure Miss Prism thinks I am off to see Peter. I really can not bear to see Peter any more. I simply haven't the energy.

I do hope on one of these walks I will find a really suitable man. I won't go for that same type again. I feel one should always learn from one's mistakes. This time I shall find someone who is impeccably (sp?) dressed, but whom one can still suspect of being somehow not quite clean. Uncle Jack leaving again this afternoon. I know what *that* means!