10 July

Uncle Jack said at dinner this evening that cousin Ernest would have to choose between this world, the next world, and Australia. I suppose he will choose Australia becasue there certainly will be many opportunities for adventure there. Uncle Jack is going up to London this weekend to buy dear Ernest's outfit. How handsome he will look in a safari outfit (Ernest, not Uncle Jack)! I *do* hope Uncle Jack will get him one of those explorer helmets—I *do* so love a man in a hat.

I am very excited to get letters from Australia. I wonder if they use stamps. It is terribly *wild* in Australia.

5 July

Uncle Jack has gone to London again as of yesterday. That is why I was obliged to suffer through German all day yesterday. Horrid German! Miss Prism is *quite* excited about our voyage to Germany this autumn. We will travel via steamer to Hamburg, and bu private train car from there. Miss Prism is most concerned that I should make a favorable impression on Germany. I am interested in making a favorable impression upon Ernest. I really must admit I am entirely fascinated by the idea of travelling on a steamer. Travelling by steamer is quite the thing.

17 June

My dear guardian has so many philanthropies that he has been in London for many days. He has, in addition to the N.A.A.C.P. and our new Farmers Food Insurance Fund, the S.O.B (Save the Buttons), the W.A.V.E (Widows Against Vegetarian Eating), the Liberal Unionists Against Reasonable Seizure, and the Wives of Foreign Wars. I always think it is good for a man to have an occupation but it is my opinion that my dear guardian is going entirely *too far*. My occupation until I marry my true love Ernest, is writing this little diary. It will be most charming reading for other young ladies and also quite entirely *instructional* for the lower orders.

4 June

Today Dr. Chasuble made a new sermon entitled "The Messiah: Man or Mouse?" It was saying that we live in an age of ideals. It was quite a successful sermon. My ideal is Ernest.

Oh dear, I am so very *bored* of late. I have even taken up reading the back issues of the London Times in the library. I certainly never believed I would have been driven to such extremes.

3 June

Ernest wants me to run away and join him in London as soon as he returns. He can not bear to be without me for another day. I have written him that he must be patient, as I have several evening parties I must attend first.

Rose petal sandwiches for tea. I adore rose petal sandwiches.

12 May

Three days until the Charity Ball. We are to have a gross of confetti, which will drop at midnight. Nearly all the guests will be coming down from London specially, and the band will be mae up entirely of members of the London Philharmonic, so we will have all the bedrooms and guest houses quite full. The excitement in the air is quite palpable, and the house staff are scurrying about like a thousand mice, only bigger of course.

Ernest increasingly distressed at being excluded from the ball. He hopes some day we will hold a charity ball for him.

27 April

The tea was not a great success. Miss Lucy brown was a most horrid, spoiled little child! She wore a dress of the same fabric as mine (!), disdained my cucumber and cress sandwiches and refused *entirely* to discuss Ernest. She does not know Ernest. She is not even from London, and even if she had been from London, she does not like men. Indeed, she spent the entire tea clutching her "friend," a stuffed teddy named Aloysius, wh o*also* disdained my cucumber and cress sandwiches.

22 April

Ernest is *very* jealous of my relationship with the doctor. The poor boy is frightened he will lose me. He is entirely *bombarding* me with loving words. He has even attempted a charmingly simple little love posy. What a dear, romantic boy he is! I am quite quite sure he will bring me lots and lots of flowers as soon as I am able to get outside.

I have special ordered my May Queen dress—from London (!) and Uncle Jack will pick it up. If only Ernest could see me in it. He would be my slave for evermore.

15 April

Uncle Jack is *not* sending me to London. He means for us to sojourn in Germany! He says it will be a wonderful learning opportunity for me to practice my (horrid) German in its homeland! I hate German! I hate Uncle Jack!

Later—letter from Ernest. My own sweet, loving boy! He says that he will meet me without fail in Germany! He hates German too. We will speak only English there. Mudie left this afternoon on the 4:05. She has her bridge game this evening in town. Uncle Jack has gone with her. Not to bridge.

14 April

Mudie has told Uncle Jack that she believes I need to socialize more and so Uncle Jack has agreed that Miss Prism and I are to travel in the Autumn. At last, I will go to London! And for practice, Uncle Jack will arrange for several luncheons to be held here, but also for a charity ball to be here. I fon't think that I will like charity balls. They don't sound gay at all!

9 April

Mudie is a ear old friend of Miss Prism's from London, where she is also involved in some philanthropic work with Uncle Jack—that is how Miss Prism came to be my governess. She is a dear, sweet thing, though I am afraid not very *interesting*. Her visits here are always rather *convenient* for me though, as I am allowed the entire time off from lessons. Of course I am obliged to spend my time with her when she wishes, but she and Miss Prism go off on their own quite a bit—especially evenings. Perhaps Mudie knows cousin Ernest!! I must ask her at once.

No answer was forthcoming.

2 April

Confined indoors due to the beastly rain. I *must* devise a plan for escape to London and my dear Ernest. But of course I must not get wet, so I will not go today. Besides, Uncle Jack has returned and watches me very carefully. I am so afraid he may suspect. I certainly hope Ernest has not let any hints out!

New maid—Maxine. The first letter of her Christian name bodes not well.

I think Ernest must be a gambler. That would be very *reckless* and *dashing* of him!

1 April

Lovely letter from Ernest in this morning's post. He says London has lost all its glamour to him because I am not there. He says his life has become *most* dull and dreary ever since he met me and that he hopes soon he will *actually* meet me. He says the circus is coming to town and that there are all sorts of charming plays at all the theatres. Oh *why* must I be confined to the country? I *must* run away to the city and be with my Ernest!

31 March

Miss Prism assures me that dear Uncle Jack is not any kind of agent at all, not even a secret agent. She says that my dear guardian in fact is obliged to do business in London at times and that he certainly would never lie to me, as he is a gentleman of the highest integrity, unlike that dissolute young man, his brother, and that if Uncle Jack occasionally goes to dinner parties, he certainly deserves the moment's relaxation after all his hard work guarding the honor of his name from the ravages wreaked by young Ernest's hand.

I would like to be ravaged by young Ernest's hand.

18 March

Terrible dream last night! I dreamt that Ernest took me to a masquerade. He was dressed as a Vampyre (!), and I was a Fairy Princess—with the most beautiful gossamer wings! I discovered that I could fly, quite cleverly, and then so could Ernest! So we flew over London and landed in a terribly dirty and smelly location, where Ernest cornered me entirely and pulled out from under his cape a snake, which bit me. I awoke feeling *most* weak and tingly. I fear I am in great danger. Weather still charming.

16 March

Uncle Jack is very mean! "On no account," he says, will he allow me to go to London at any time soon. In fact he has expressly forbidden my meeting Ernest. Ever! So I am refusing to leave my room until further notice.

Francine has spent the day with me in order to console me. I asked her whether she really had this "snake" business on very firm authority, and she says she and others have seen it on one man here. But can he be normal? Surely not. Maggie and Francine are twins! How odd, and, I must say, not quite decent. They sleep in the same bed. How nice that must be.

15 March

My dear sweet Ernest has written to tell me not to worry my pretty little head about his troubles, his nature or what is in his knickers. He certainly has calmed my fears. He says he merely overindulges a little because he so much enjoys the pleasures of London. He feels there is no doubt at all that our marriage will have a most *soothing* and pleasant effect upon him, and he is most desperately excited to show me all around London as soon as he can. He hopes to meet me very soon. Oh dear, I love him so very much!

11 March

Miss Prism explained to me that London itself does seem to have a *most* crippling effect upon those of a weak constitution and that no doubt cousin Ernest's naturally delicate nature was corrupted at an impressionable age, that his innocence was quite *crushed* by the horrors around him. The poor dear boy! How lucky for him that he has found me. I will protect him and save his soul. I always think it is quite important for a young lady to save as many souls as possible.

7 March

Today in Geography I asked Miss Prism whyever shouldn't I learn the geography of London, and she said that London is a horrible, dirty place full of unpleasant smells and people like rippers (!), and that I should at all costs avoid it. She is very worried indeed whenever dear Uncle Jack goes to town and thinks he had better not go anymore.

6 March

Ernest says that the clever people are not at all a bore, that it is the people who merely *wish* to be clever and are not clever that are a bore. Ernest says that when we are married, he will take me to London immediately and show me the clever people himself. Ernest says that he also does not much like listening but that he does like talking very much indeed.