14 July

Uncle Jack still gone. I guess I know what that means. I must find a way out of this today. Must discover some fun. I have only just escaped from dear Miss Prism by telling Dr. Chasuble a little white lie. I informed him that Miss Prism had a slight headache and suggested a "stroll." He said he would "Hang upon her lips!" Then he called her *Egeria*! Said it was a reference to the *pagans*! I think he has been making love to her!

!!!!!! Ernest is here!!!!!!! At last! And he is exactly as I imagined him. He says I am the "visible personification of absolute perfection" and then he proposed! 3:00pm More later. No, now I am to be a married woman, I will put aside childish diaries once and for all.

(Ed's note: there follow no more entries, and documentary evidence has not been found to provide any further information on a Cecily Cardew, aged 18, from Hertfordshire.)

29 June

Singing lessons have been suspecned for the time being. Miss Prism feels it is better that way, as it will allow me to debut at the beginning of next year's season with a full repertoire. Naturally, I am disappointed, but Ernest writes to say that he is very excited bu the news, as it will allow him to find a way to be present for my debut. Oh, my darling boy! How proud he will be of me. I am sure he will race across the room with flowers for me and cry "Brava!" (that's Italian) with all his darling heart.

27 June

Miss Prism in a sweeter mood today at breakfast after I asked her how she was feeling on this fine morning. We even went for a short stroll together to wish a fine morning to Dr. Chasuble. I even sang a matin to him, and he was quite entirely amazed. Speechless, even. After we left him, Miss Prism noted that my spirits have been high of late and said she is quite pleased that I have given up my entire *obsessions* with Ernest and with Peter. She says she felt quite sure I would never have thrown my life away on a male beauty in distress.

21 June

I think that I shall never see
A thing as lovely as a man
Especially one named Ernest.

20 June

Absolutely charmingly imploring letter from my sweet, repentant boy. He was *quite melancholy* indeed. Of course, he trusts me *entirely*, but he fears I never can love him as much as he loves me. He writes that he is still quite *shaken* at having been away from me for so very long. He fears I may have despaired of him ever returning. He begs my forgiveness and looks forward to the day when he can rest in my soothing and restoritive (sp?) presence. What a dear romantic boy he is!

17 June

My dear guardian has so many philanthropies that he has been in London for many days. He has, in addition to the N.A.A.C.P. and our new Farmers Food Insurance Fund, the S.O.B (Save the Buttons), the W.A.V.E (Widows Against Vegetarian Eating), the Liberal Unionists Against Reasonable Seizure, and the Wives of Foreign Wars. I always think it is good for a man to have an occupation but it is my opinion that my dear guardian is going entirely *too far*. My occupation until I marry my true love Ernest, is writing this little diary. It will be most charming reading for other young ladies and also quite entirely *instructional* for the lower orders.

16 June

My dear romantic boy has written to me at last! He apologized so sweetly for failing to write more often but says that he has missed me *desperately* and is entirely *determined*to find some way to me at once. He says he got in hardly any scrapes at all on his journey and that he will tell me all the details soon. He says that Uncle Jack is not at all saving him from any scrapes—that Uncle Jack is merely spying on poor Ernest, but also attending to his philanthropies.

Oh I am so *relieved* that my dear sweet love is home!

15 June

My darling, darling wonderful perfect love Ernest has returned I know it because my dear guardian has gone to London for several days. Oh, I *do* hope Ernest and he will reconcile and return here together. I do *so* long to see my darling Ernest after all this time. I cannot see why dear Uncle Jack will not bring the dear boy down here some time. The country has a most wholesome effect upon a person. I believe the clean air and the beauty of the place have a specially bracing and inspirational effect upon those of the male sex. No doubt dear Ernest would be quite healed of his indiscretions were he here.

26 May

I have received a letter from abroad. I don't know whether they have stamps abroad. Ernest says he cannot say anything *at all* about his voyage. Says he will not be able to write often but that I must be patient and remember that he loves me more than life itself. I don't think he should say he loves me more than life itself—that doesn't seem to make much sense. What a daring, dangerous life he must lead!

11 May

Only four more days until the Charity Ball! We expect the weather to be charming, and Moulton, the gardener, has done the most *charming* things with the whole garden. He has brought in clematis and *passion flowers* for the trellis, and he has cut the topiaries in the most delightful shapes‚lions, tigers and bears. Oh my, I do love them! Miss Prism is not at all pleased with the passion flowers and clematis—she feels they are inappropriate. I feel they are lovely.

Ernest is terribly upset that he will not be able to attend. He says he will think of me exactly at midnight. What a dear, romantic boy he is!

8 May

Uncle Jack gone! I suppose my darling Ernest has bounded again. Oh I *do* wish I could meet up with him! At the very least, I could bound with him. He has written me a charming letter saying he is sure I could travel with him, he is sure it would be okay! He says we could trek up and down through the Punjab from the source of the river to the sea. Oh the Punjab does sound so very exciting! I hear the Punjab is lovely, except of course that it is inhabited almost entirely by foreigners.

4 May

A sweet, pining letter from Ernest, begging me to forgive him for his jealousies and grieving that he was unable to see me in my outfit. I am having my coronet dried and will save it to show him when we meet.

Lessons *beastly* today—went on for *hours*. Miss Prism quite intent on me entirely understanding the Pound/Mark exchange rate, and I money holds no interest for me. Indeed, I think it quite vulgar to have any understanding of money at all.

3 May

I was quite a success at the May festivities—our little country newspaper chronicled the events this morning. they say I "was effervescent in (my) May gown and garland of pink roses, as refreshing as a cool glass of champagne and sparkling with youth and charm." Oh, it is lovely to be adored! Mr. Adrian Mole, the write and publisher, has adored me for as long as I can remember. Indeed, he may have adored me forever. I sent a copy to my dear Ernest. He will certainly be obliged to speak to me now.

25 April

I went for my first walk outside today—went across the meadow (carefully avoided barn) and up to one of the smaller hills quite close, where I received an *enormous* bouquet of flowers from my darling Ernest! he is most *desperately* afraid of losing me! I am afraid our first breakup was quite a blow to him. I feel it is always best to let a man see what he could lose so that he will make sure not to take one for granted. Miss Prism calls it "the fear of God" and says it can be helpful in all *sorts* of situations.

22 April

Ernest is *very* jealous of my relationship with the doctor. The poor boy is frightened he will lose me. He is entirely *bombarding* me with loving words. He has even attempted a charmingly simple little love posy. What a dear, romantic boy he is! I am quite quite sure he will bring me lots and lots of flowers as soon as I am able to get outside.

I have special ordered my May Queen dress—from London (!) and Uncle Jack will pick it up. If only Ernest could see me in it. He would be my slave for evermore.

15 April

Uncle Jack is *not* sending me to London. He means for us to sojourn in Germany! He says it will be a wonderful learning opportunity for me to practice my (horrid) German in its homeland! I hate German! I hate Uncle Jack!

Later—letter from Ernest. My own sweet, loving boy! He says that he will meet me without fail in Germany! He hates German too. We will speak only English there. Mudie left this afternoon on the 4:05. She has her bridge game this evening in town. Uncle Jack has gone with her. Not to bridge.

8 April

Ernest *is* a gambler! And a drinker "to the point of intoxication" Miss Prism said. Not to me, of course. I listened in on her after-sermon chat with Dr. Chasuble again this morning, and apparently she heard it *directly from Uncle Jack*! Dr. Chasuble is praying for him. Miss Prism seems to feel that the time is well past for prayers. I am intoxicated with Ernest!

Uncle Jack arrived with Mudie this afternoon. She will be staying the whole week.

4 April

Ernest has written me the most stimulating letter! He says the air positively *sizzles* with the name of *Cecily*! I very nearly *fainted* when I read that! My knees were entirely a-quiver.

Miss Prism refused to allow me to shorten my lessons today. She says that what I sew, so shall I reap. I don't even like to sew. It doesn't seem a proper thing for a lady. And I certainly do not intend ever to "reap."

29 March

Excessively long letter from Ernest today. He has written to tell me what form his pining for me took during every moment that we were apart. What a dear, sweet boy he is! How wonderfully thoughtful and kind! I will never hurt the poor dear boy again. How he has suffered for his silly little Cecily!

Weather no longer so charming.

27 March

My sweet, wonderful, loving boy has returned to me! At dawn, a letter from him appeared as if by magic. The morning post seems to be coming alarmingly early these days, now I come to think of it. This letter, like the others, was so beautiful, and so badly spelled, that I fell into a fit of sobs from which I did not recover for at least 5 minutes. Of course I had to forgive him. Firmness is one thing—hard-heartedness is quite another. And of course it would never do to be hard-hearted in matters of the heart. That would make no sense.